the faces of love

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Greetings all! Yesterday I went to Joseph Prince's church here in Singapore, New Creation - two weeks before that I was visiting numerous churches in Papua New Guinea, and for the week in between these trips I was home for one Sunday at C3 Ryde. What was the common theme amongst these churches? Well, Jesus, yes, is the obvious one, but what has been standing out so distinctly for me lately is the love that these people have for one another. 

Papua New Guinea was ten days of continually and overwhelmingly seeing faith expressing itself through love - amazing, selfless love. At Ryde we're family, we are a tribe, growing and moving together through life with massive love for everyone in our church and community. At New Creation, the genuine warmth and hearts with which the welcome team served, as well as the phenomenal worship (and even Joseph Prince's preaching style) were all evidence of a church overflowing with love for its people. Sooo.... love then, Daniel. I'm betting that's the topic today. Well observed. 

You know, the Bible says we love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). As in, the source of our love for one another, its very origin and starting point that enables us to love each other wholly and selflessly, comes from Jesus. So you'd think there'd be merit in looking at how Jesus loved others, then. This is an impression-based paraphrase of a sermon Richard Green did the week before last about the faces of love. How did Jesus actually show love during his time on Earth?

If you think about love in a tangible sense now, you will probably find yourself thinking about people you know who love you and who you love. Think about it - who do you picture when you picture love? What does that face look like? Is there a certain expression they make which encapsulates love for you?

Richard identified four faces or looks that Jesus displays in the gospels that show love. They're not just anecdotes - if Jesus is the reason we love, then looking at how he first loved is a key to loving others in our world better. Ironically, Christmas is meant to be a time of family, commensalism, and love, and yet it often exposes a drought of those things. Relationships go sour, fights break out, and in fact statistically, you are most likely to be killed by a member of your own family on Christmas day than any other demographic group on any other day of the year.

So how do we show love?

the face of shared emotion.








The first face of love that Jesus showed was one of shared emotion. In John 11:36, we read about Lazarus, a dead man that Jesus raised back to life. The interesting thing about this story is not just the resurrection, but the empathy Jesus shows for the Jews that knew him. Jesus already knows that Lazarus will be raised from the dead, and yet instead of rushing to the miracle and moving onto the next city, he waits a while with the family, and when moved by their grief and mourning, weeps. 


I can apply this right away to my life. I'm a problem solver. I like to sort things out immediately so we can move on. But for all my solutions, sometimes people just need a bit of empathy. In this first face, Jesus shows us that the way to love is actually to;
- Look for points of connection and shared experience, and
- Stay in the moment of the emotion rather than prematurely jumping to the 'solution'.

the face of secure engagement.

There is a famous story in the gospel of Mark (10:17-27) about the rich young man who asks what he must do to enter the Kingdom of God, to which Jesus answers that he must sell all his possessions and give to the poor. A short phrase appears at the start of the story that's easy to gloss over; "Jesus looked at him and loved him". Even in his role as rebuker, and to a complete stranger what's more, Jesus' reaction is to love this man. The way in which he offers this correction is in fact the epitome of a perfectly loving reprimand, which is a tough thing to achieve!


- Firstly, Jesus is secure in who he is. He's not taking himself too seriously here, and he actually changes the mood right after with a light joke (about the camel passing through the eye of the needle). He's not trying to be too holy, and he doesn't need to act it up - he's secure in who he is.
- Secondly, he's quick, concise, and moves on quickly.
- Finally, he leaves the result in the young man's hands. Too often we feel it's our need (nay, duty!), to continually follow up people we've corrected and nag them about how or when to do it. That's not our role. We need to leave it up to them.

the face of determined 
self-sacrifice.

The third face comes from Luke, from the story of when Jesus prays on the Mount of Olives, as was his custom. This particular prayer was on the eve of Judas' betrayal, when his crucifixion was imminent. Knowing this, and out of love for his Father, Jesus prayed "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done". This very moment in time was prophesied in the book of Isaiah (50:7), where it says; "Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame". No matter what was to come, Jesus was ready to suffer it, and all because of love.


One thing that made this sacrifice so great was that Jesus was fully aware of the commitment that would be required to complete it, the level of selfless and ongoing love that would be needed to do it. Therefore for us, when we choose to sacrifice something out of love for another, need to;
- Understand our sacrifice and the cost it will involve,
- Know the goal of that sacrifice, what it should actually achieve, and,
- Expect nothing in return. It's important to not be transactional, lest we undermine the original loving intention that brought about the sacrifice!

the face of selfless celebration.

Have you ever experienced that feeling when you are so full of joy that there is no room for any other emotion (I have, it's great!). It's usually when you're celebrating something, or at a high point in a relationship, or because of some other fortuitous circumstance. More often than not though, that overwhelming elation is the result of something good that happens to ourselves, not to others, which is the reverse of what Jesus advocates. In Luke 10:21, Jesus shouts praise and thanks to his Father for revealing his wisdom to the little children and not to the wise and learned, as it was his good pleasure to do so. His disciples have just come back overjoyed about how even the demons submitted to them in Jesus name, but Jesus shows them that he's more interested in celebrating God's successes, not his own.


It can be very hard to celebrate someone else's good fortune in light of your own bad fortune. Psychologists will tell you that there are few worse feelings known to man than that of missing out on something you felt entitled to. And yet God calls us to joyously celebrate other peoples' successes as we would our own. Following Jesus' example, we should;
- Find something specific and special that gives someone a benefit or blessing, and celebrate it!
- Celebrate for the one person in the way that we would celebrate for all. We need to be unreserved in our unbridled enthusiasm for other peoples' success. Rejoice, for good has to come to those who need it!


Just finally, can I just encourage you, dear reader, to meditate on this sermon for a while - it's a little meaty, and I firmly believe there's more to it than the first glance would suggest. At the least, remember these four faces of love, so you can ponder them as you go about your day. Each of them has its place - empathising, rebuking, sacrificing, celebrating. 


So how can we, in following Jesus' example, love better?